‘Guys have commitment issues’. This is a myth that needs to be busted! There are plenty of guys out there who want a relationship.
Guys in the right stage of their life have a better chance of committing to you than those who are struggling and immature. Also, you might be behaving in a way that ruins a potential relationship before it even begins. Maybe you are choosing the wrong guys, that is, those who will not commit to anyone.
If there has been a constant failure after many attempts, you may need to correct a few flaws. You just need to fix them, and you’ll have a great relationship with the right guy.
Reasons Why Guys Don’t Want A Relationship With You
It is not unusual to make mistakes, but it is stupid not to learn from them. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, then you’ll be hitting dead ends like this till you do. Try to learn from your past experiences and change your ways around men.
Look for the red flags mentioned below and work on them whenever you can. Else, you’ll be served with the same dish of disappointment in a different platter every time.
1. They Don’t Feel For You
It is quite possible that the guys you liked found it hard to love you. Maybe some were still in love with their ex or fond of someone other than you. Some of them might have liked you but not enough to fall in love with you.
Maybe you didn’t express your feelings clearly, or you too never felt anything for them. Don’t get into a relationship when you don’t feel for someone. Relationships should not be sought just because all your friends have someone.
2. Their Views Don’t Align With Yours
People find it difficult to understand each other because of so many differences. A small difference in opinion is okay, but building a relationship will be difficult if you have vastly different views. Nothing much you can do here unless you have some really cringe views that are morally wrong.
3. You Come Across As Too Strong
Take a look at your dating history. Do you find yourself wanting everything in one go? After every second or third date, do you start planning a future? Maybe you were moving too fast and scared the guys away. No matter how much you both like each other, moving too fast can break things quickly.
Always wait till you both are on the same page. Give time for the attraction to grow and become something real.
4. You Don’t Have Or Maintain Standards
It is essential to set your standards and stick to that from the very beginning. The problem starts when we give someone everything they want and get nothing in return. What they do is walk all over us selfishly. Two people should be equally invested in each other.
If you see a guy thinking only about himself and choose to ignore him, you are disrespecting yourself and not maintaining any standards. You should know how you want to be treated and what is intolerable when it comes to dating and being in a relationship.
Be brave enough to walk away when those standards are not met.
5. You Have Eyes On The Wrong Guys
Do you think that maybe you are the one who is choosing wrong guys or guys who are unavailable? The problem with such guys is that they never want to get into something serious.
Guys who have peter pan syndrome or those who aren’t in their mature stage where they think of settling down can never take the next step with you. Girls are usually more attracted to guys who are cold or reject their advances as it challenges them and who doesn’t like a challenge.
Instead of being stuck in this loop and hoping for a change in the guys, just leave them then and there as it will increase the chances of you meeting the right guy who will actually be looking for a relationship.
6. You Are Giving Your Body Easily
There is no problem in being intimate on the very first date if you feel like doing it. But if you are at a stage where you are looking for a relationship, then it is advised to not lead with physical intimacy. You can attract guys with easily that way, but they will leave you once they get what they want.
Even if you are much more than a girl looking for quickie, the guy will leave thinking you have nothing else to offer. So, before you jump into bed, try to build a deeper connection, and the chances of creating something long-lasting will increase.
7. You Have Low Self Esteem
It is possible that because of your bad experiences, you’ve started believing that you don’t deserve love and it will never happen to you. You don’t love yourself and are not happy from within. Because of this, you may sabotage a potential beginning, even if someone tries to get close to you.
You unintentionally ruin it because of the low self-worth. Negativity within you can be seen from a mile away. It affects your whole attitude and body language. First, you need to love and value yourself. Only then you will be able to accept the fact that someone else can love you for who you are.
8. You Have Hard Time Connecting
Most of the potential relationships fail because the people involved find it hard to create a bond or connect on a deeper level. Maybe things go down the drain because you are not building a meaningful connection.
You don’t try to get and know the person but only think about labeling it as something as soon as possible. You should spend some quality time together before thinking about a relationship. There is a difference between dating someone and being in a relationship with them.
Maybe you’ll find that they are not the one you should be with and you deserve better.
9. You Only Go For Good Looks
If a person looks great, it does not necessarily mean they will make a great partner. After the initial period of being head over heels for their looks, you will start seeing their quality. What if that guy you find so hot is mean or has some terrible habits? What if both of you don’t have anything in common?
It is not bad to look for a partner who is good looking. Looks should matter but only to an extent. It takes more than just good looks to sustain an actual long term relationship.
Why Guys Don’t Want A Relationship?
Not all guys avoid being in a relationship. There are a majority of guys who are open to the idea of having one. A relationship requires more than just commitment. You need to put time and effort into growing a relationship, and most guys fear this part.
Here are some common reasons for guys to run away from a relationship.
1. Relationship Is A Responsibility For Them
Guys who don’t want a relationship see it as a responsibility which they are not ready to bear. Making a person an integral part of their life seems challenging to some guys. They don’t like their personal life compromised.
For them being in a serious relationship is a constant struggle which they would rather avoid as much as possible.
2. They Have The ‘Peter Pan Syndrome’
Peter pan syndrome refers to men who do not want to grow up, especially the men who live in ‘Neverland’ and are immature. They want to live a carefree life, just like a kid and don’t want to work or take responsibilities. They are afraid of committing, and life is a never-ending party for them.
3. Exclusivity Is An Issue For Them
Being exclusive to someone means you shut the door for other potential partners. Most guys don’t want to close that door as they like the freedom of having more than one option. The same is true about a lot of girls.
Guys who have the habit of continually changing their mates find monogamy boring, to begin with. To be honest, most men hate the idea of monogamy and would like to keep their options open.
4. They Have Unfulfilled Life Goals
Many guys plan their future and act accordingly. When things don’t go as planned, they won’t rest until fulfilling their goals. They won’t be happy with where they are in life and won’t feel content. So, they might reject a relationship because of their dedication toward their dreams.
5. They Are Not At The Right Stage Of Their Life
Sometimes guys do want a relationship do but at the ‘right stage’ of their life. And this definition of ‘right stage’ varies from guy to guy. Men do eventually get tired of just dating or hooking up. At some point in time, they feel the need for settling down.
They do realize the importance of having a great girl by their side. A girl they can talk to, someone who will care for them, and someone who will love them with all her heart.
6. They Are In A Struggling Phase
Relationships require your time and energy to grow. When someone is in their struggling in life, it is hard to keep up with a relationship. They already have so much in their plate that there is no room for anything else. It will only put more burden on their struggle.
7. They Have A Fear Of Commitment
Many men have commitment issues, and this is one of the most common reasons for men not to get involved in a relationship. They may be having trouble committing to you because of their past love experiences where they may have faced rejection.
However, fear of commitment can be overcome like any other fear if one tries to understand the reason behind it. But would you be willing to stick around him to sort his issues? Is it really worth the effort?
8. The Fear Of Losing Freedom
Some men think that a relationship equals having no life of their own. For them, getting into a relationship means giving up their freedom. It will change their whole identity, and they will become someone else. So, to not change anything and stay in their own comfortable space, some men don’t want a relationship.
9. They Fear Change
Men who were always single or never had a proper relationship will fear taking things to the next level. They don’t know what a relationship is like, and the fear of failure will keep them from committing. Or they may believe that having someone in their life will sabotage the way they like to do things.
10. They Find It Hard To Fall In Love
Some men find it really hard to fall in love or feel anything for anyone in general. The idea of love is alien to them. Men have a hard time expressing their feelings and emotions. They find it difficult to open up and don’t allow others to enter their world.
It will take a lot of time and constant effort to make such men fall in love with and get into a relationship with them. Still, things might not feel ‘right’ or the way you want them to feel.
Why Do Guys Only Want To Hook Up?
Not all guys are like that. Some guys believe in long term relationships and forming a beautiful connection with the women they love. It’s not only a guy thing, but there are some girls too who are not looking for anything serious and just want to hook up.
We all are different, so there could be a lot of reasons for each person to choose hook-ups rather than something meaningful.
1. Availability Of Options
Thanks to our digital world, which provides us with lots and lots of online dating apps where there are a million single people, just one click away. You know that there are plenty of the fishes in the sea to catch before you settle down.
When you have many choices available, you don’t care to invest in one person and form a meaningful relationship. Once you get what you want, you dump the person and move on to the next. For some guys, it becomes a habit they can’t get rid of.
They can’t stay with one person for a long time as they are addicted to change.
2. Casual Attitude Regarding Intimacy
This is another thing that is very common these days. We have made physical intimacy so easy to get that now no one bothers to form a deep connection with the person as long as they are getting what they want. One night stands, getting frisky on the very first date or hook up parties have become a trend.
You don’t have to put effort into getting laid with someone and go on many dates before it finally happens. There is a fear that if you don’t sleep with them, someone else will. All these things are erasing those steps where you get to know the person before getting intimate.
Hooking up with a person and minding your own business keeps you safe from all the pain that you may experience when in a toxic relationship. People don’t want to risk getting hurt. The fear of being vulnerable makes guys take the easy way out, hook up and leave.
They idolize a place where they don’t have to show their actual side, their flaws, their insecurities, and where the chances of rejections and getting hurt are zero. Guys are not willing to put the effort and time required to build a relationship because for them, it’s not worth it.
4. Emotional Unavailability
Being emotionally unavailable is another reason for hook up culture. Getting physical easily can also make a person less emotional as you don’t form a connection with the person. You are with a different person every other day, and you don’t know how to communicate and make a bond.
You don’t know how to express your feelings. Guys with bad past experiences and trust issues can go for hookups to overcome the emotional trauma of a bad relationship.
Am I Not Girlfriend Material?
There is no such thing as a girlfriend or wife ‘material’. Every girl is capable of loving others and deserves to be loved equally loved. We all are different, so we all look for different qualities in our partner. It’s just a matter of time before you find the right partner for you who will accept you for who you are.
Still, here are some necessary qualities that a lot of guys look for in girl before committing to them.
1. Girls At Their Best
Girls who love themselves and know how to take good care of their own body and soul are the ones guys are most attracted to. Every guy out there wants to settle for the best girl he can get. It doesn’t mean you have to change yourself completely.
It’s just that you need to love yourself first so that you can be loved by someone else. Try to stay fit, healthy and confident. Take the best care of yourself. So, if you won’t be at your best, it would become difficult for you to stand out in that crowd.
2. Independent Girls
In this day and age, where everyone likes their independence, guys also look for independent girls. Any self-respecting girl should take care of herself and her needs instead of digging into a guy’s pocket. Even in general one should try not to be dependent on anyone for anything as it takes away your free will.
You won’t be able to do anything without outside help if you don’t correct yourself somewhere down the line. Your partner should be there for you when you need him, but it is equally important to have your own life outside the relationship and be able to solve your problems on your own.
3. Girls With A ‘Voice’
Being vocal is very important not only to impress your guy but in other areas of your life as well. Educate yourself and gain knowledge, know the world around you as it gives you the substance to speak confidently. It’s important to have your own thoughts and opinions on things.
Guys want girls who know how to hold a conversation, who can let their feelings be known instead of just agreeing on everything people say.
4. Girls With An Ambition
Having a meaningless life with no purpose and goals is very unattractive. Guys are more attracted toward girls with a zeal to achieve what they want and are determined to fulfill their dreams. Everybody wants a partner who is supportive and keeps motivating you to take risks and go beyond your limitations.
So, an ambitious girl is perfect because she believes in working hard for whatever she wants and never settles for less.
5. Girls Who Are Kind
We all want someone by our side who is generous, compassionate and warm towards everyone. Nobody wants someone who is arrogant, rude and thankless. Guys like girls who are kind at heart and are always helpful to people around them.
Everyone loves a person with a good heart, so being kind is not only good for a relationship but also good for you and humanity.
6. Girls Who Are Caring
‘Caring’ is one of the fundamental qualities that both guys and girls look for in their partners. There are times in our life where we feel low and want someone who can make us feel better. Just the satisfaction of knowing that there is someone who cares for you is enough to go through tough times.
Take an interest in your guy’s life and be a good listener. Do things for him that show you actually care for him and love him no matter what.
7. Girls With Some Appeal
Being attractive is very important. You should be capable of making him crave whenever he sees you. If you cannot seduce him, then you are no better than other girl friends in his life. But to be a girlfriend you need something more. Try to be a little bit naughty and playful.
If you don’t know how to do it, then learn the art of seduction. Tease him and increase his curiosity. Let him chase you instead of showing your cards all at once.
Getting into a real and meaningful relationship is just a matter of time. The harder you try, the farther you are going to push it. Choose the guys wisely. Make sure that the person knows what you are looking for so that it’s not a total waste of time for both of you.
If you find a potential mate, then just be your best self and let the things flow and take their course. Keep improving yourself, and it will definitely happen soon.