When a guy says he loves you but you’re not dating, it can seem really daunting and confusing. It seems illogical, right? Wrong!
Don’t jump right into any conclusion. What he meant can depend on a lot of factors, and you need to analyze them. It is very much possible that he does not mean it romantically but felt like saying it at that instant.
The definition of love changes with the feeling of the person who is saying it to you. Let’s be real, life is not a movie.
Before We Begin
The word love has so many meanings that it’s impossible to derive only one interpretation out of it. We can say I love you to anyone at any time. This sentence is used as a way to express your affection, happiness, trust, care, respect towards anyone who is close to you.
To know the exact meaning, try and study the guy’s feelings towards you. See how your relations are with him. Are they totally platonic, or is there some kind of attraction from the other side that you didn’t see before?
Falling in love is very special. You are not meant to go around and say I love you to people you don’t even know, right? You say it to your partner only when you mean it and without any ulterior motive. At least that’s what the society teaches us.
Hence you find it odd when a guy who doesn’t know anything about you says I love you. So let’s find out the reasons behind a guy saying he is in love with you when you haven’t even been dating.
1. Just Meant It As A Friend
Maybe this guy thinks of you as a dear friend, and because of some overwhelming emotion, he felt like saying, I love you. But this doesn’t mean he romantically loves you. Maybe for him, the bond of friendship that he shares with you is exceptional.
He wants to convey that he loves you as a friend, and you are really important to him. He wants you by his side as a great friend, and he values you a lot. So, possibly he said it as an expression of affection and is grateful to have a person like you by his side.
2. An Impulsive Action
People sometimes confuse their other emotions with love. If he is a kind of person who is not getting much affection in life, then one act of kindness from you can make him ‘fall in love’ with you. But that won’t be love and just an impulse.
Maybe he likes you as a person, or he likes something specific or anything, but that does not mean he loves you. So, possibly he is having a hard time figuring out his feelings for you and is saying I love you without even meaning it.
3. Confusing Infatuation With Love
It happens with a lot of people. They think they are in love, but after some time it turns out to be nothing than a strong attraction towards a person. The attraction is something that might die down eventually as it happens in many cases. But if you love someone, it will only grow stronger with time.
So, this guy is so engrossed in you that he is confusing his obsession with love. It is infatuation for now, but it can turn into love with time if reciprocated.
4. To Sleep With You
Saying I love you and making the girl emotionally involved can be the easiest way to sleep with a girl, at least this is what some guys think. These guys use ‘I love you’ as a tool to get laid, and this could be very much the case here too. You can never know the actual intentions of a guy.
So, if this guy whom you have not even dated yet, is saying that he loves you, then maybe he is trying to get into your pants. You need to be extra careful while dealing with such pervs as they can go to any extent to try and get what they want.
5. He Actually Loves You
Yes, a person can fall in love even without knowing you personally. You don’t always have to go on dates before loving someone. For some people, a small reason is enough to fall in love. There is a thing called one-sided love.
So maybe this guy has been secretly admiring you for a long time and fell in love with you. It is likely that he felt this way for a long time. Now he wants you to know how he feels about you, and maybe he is not even expecting you to reciprocate.
He is just sharing what he feels as maybe he is fed up of carrying this burden around.
What To Do About It
How you respond to a proposal is totally dependent on your feelings for that person. If you are clear about your feelings for that person, then handling the situation will become less complicated for you as you will know precisely how to proceed.
1. If You Don’t Love Him
If you don’t have any kind of affection for this person, then there is no point in beating around the bush. Let him know clearly that you don’t feel in a similar way about him. But again as there are emotions involved, so you need to be extra polite while telling him the truth.
If this guy is someone you know and you care about, then try telling him how you respect his relationship with you, and he means a lot to you. Tell him things that you like about him, but also how you don’t see yourself with him in a romantic light.
Figure out a way to send your message across without hurting the feelings of the person involved.
2. When You Are Not Sure
If there is even the slightest possibility of you being in love with this guy in the future but don’t know for sure, then try buying some time for yourself. If you know this person well and are attracted to him in some way, don’t try to take an instant decision.
Don’t say you love him until you mean it. We know, not reciprocating his feelings can hurt him, and you won’t want that. But lying about your feelings will cause more significant harm in the future. Take some time to figure out your feelings.
Tell him that you like him, but it’s too soon for you to say anything and you are not ready.
3. If You Love Him
Well if you love him, then you must have been waiting for this day. So, tell him that you feel for him as much as he does for you. If you feel loved and you are happy with him then say I love you too. Don’t overthink at this point as it can complicate things between you and him.
Don’t stop yourself from expressing your feelings. However, reciprocate only if you know for sure that he is genuinely in love with you and means whatever he says.
Even if there is a slight possibility that he may not be actually in love or maybe lying about his feelings, then take your time to analyze things.
Will A Guy Tell You He Loves You If He Doesn’t Mean It
Yes, he might. It’s not unusual for people irrespective of their gender to lie about their feelings for the other person. They can say they love you without even meaning it for plenty of reasons. You should know that real love takes time to develop.
Don’t Jump The Gun
If this guy is saying I love you too soon, then probably he is mistaking infatuation with love or trying to take advantage of you by manipulating your emotions.
It would be too early to conclude anything, so instead of believing him blindly, try to look for concrete evidence and aligning behavior that backs his words.
Love Takes Time
Initial days of a relationship are the best as you are deeply involved with the person, but this is not the right time to declare your love. Because in the beginning, everything looks perfect. You’ll feel on top of the world, but as the early rainbows begin to disappear, you’ll get a glimpse of the reality.
At first, we show our best side to the other person. Would his love still be there when things get back to usual? Will he love you when he sees you without makeup and wearing pajamas? Or is he just another man with superficial needs from a woman?
It is essential to give time to your relationship so that it can grow. You need to lay a strong foundation of trust, respect, and understanding first, which is not possible to happen in a few weeks or months.
Did He Act On Impulse
If he has ‘fallen in love’ with you too soon, then it won’t take him much time to get out of it. He may as well ‘fall in love’ with someone else while he is still with you. It might be entirely possible that this guy doesn’t even know what the real meaning of love is.
You need to look for the circumstances in which he has said these three words to you. Don’t go for words and go for his actions instead. See how he treats you. Is he understanding, or you two don’t get along?
It’s easy to say I love you without meaning it, but it’s hard to back your words with actions.
How Do You Test A Guy To See If He Really Loves You
Tests can backfire if he gets to know you doubted his love for you. By doing so, you may end up sabotaging your relations with this guy, and this could make the guy question whether or not you are worthy of his love.
Still, to save you from any unforeseen circumstances and clear the air for you, here are some subtle ways to test if he really is in love with you.
1. Become Unavailable For A While
A guy who is in love with you will always try to find reasons to either talk to you or be around you. He would feel happy when he is around you, and being with you would surely brighten his day. The very fact that he can get to look at you and adore you will make him ecstatic.
So try not to meet him or respond to his calls or text for a while. See how he behaves in this situation. If your phone floods with calls and messages from him and he shows up at your doorstep without thinking twice, then this guy is only obsessed with you. It’s not something you call love.
Love is the right amount of healthy obsession and not somethings that stifles you. Someone who loves you will first try to make sure you are fine. He would wait for you to meet and tell you how much he missed you. You would see that in his eyes.
2. Does He Share His Feelings
When a guy loves you, he would want you to know him as well. He will open up about himself and will even share things with you that no one knows. It shows that he is very comfortable with you, you have become someone important to him, and he can trust you with his secrets.
Letting his guards down and wanting you to be a part of his life is not only cute but a definite sign too. He wants you to see him as who he is and is not afraid of showing his vulnerable side to you. If he never shares anything with you and is keeping things a secret, then that’s a red flag right there.
3. Invite Him To Meet Your Friends And Family
Someone who is in love with you will always be open to the idea of meeting your loved ones unless he is too shy. Meeting each other’s close relations means you are trying to take things one step ahead. It also means that you are serious about each other.
If not family, if you feel it’s too early, then at least ask him to meet your friends. He may not be ready for it at a certain point in time. However, if it feels to you that he always declines on some pretext or the other, then you should be worried.
The chances are that he never will be ready cause he is bluffing around with you.
4. Ask Him For A Favor
Ask him to do something for you. Let the favor be something which might seem a bit too big. Ask for it even if you don’t need it. At the time of execution, you can always back off by saying that you don’t need the favor anymore, thus saving him from any hassle.
But it will give you great insights into what his attitude will be in the future if ever you do need help. Someone who loves you will always be happy to help you whenever in need. Doing favors for each other helps to build a bond. With time it becomes natural.
He doesn’t love you enough if he is only ordering you around, and when you want something from him, he just brushes you off. Favors could also mean little things. Doing small things for each other is a way of showing care. Thus, if he doesn’t care, he can’t claim to love you. Period.
5. How Does He Behave After A Fight
Try picking up a fight with him. If you do not want to make it intentional, then wait for it to happen. The day you two argue about something, see how he reacts. If the fight turns into something very ugly and the guy behaves horribly, then there is no love.
What exists is only the desire to prove himself right and make you look bad. Someone who loves you will refrain from hurting you be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. He will try to make up for it afterward and will do anything it takes to make you feel happy again.
Do Guys Jokingly Say I Love You
It’s a usual day, and you are hanging out with this guy whom you think of as a friend or maybe as a fling. But all of a sudden blurts out, ‘I love you.’ The worst part is when, after that awkward silence, he laughs his way out to say he was just joking.
Now you are left wondering, was he serious or was he really joking? Sounds familiar? Read on!
Don’t Assume Anything
Start by recollecting all the time you’ve spent together. Look for subtle signs that verify his feelings for you. Was this coming or it was too unexpected for you? If it still feels completely absurd, then maybe for this guy I love you is just like another sentence.
Even if you don’t see him using these words too frequently with everyone, don’t assume that he must be meaning it. Trust your gut instincts.
The Fear Of Rejection
Some guys are so scared of rejection from women that they try to use humor to get things done. If it hits, it hits. If it doesn’t, it was a joke, right? How convenient. So, if you’ll reciprocate his feelings, then everything fits perfectly, but if you don’t, then it becomes a joke.
You both laugh it off, and your relationship with the guy stays unaffected. At least this is what he thought. If you realize that there were always some hints or gestures that you were not able to notice until now, then this guy definitely has hidden feelings for you.
Now he is trying to ask you out in what he feels is a subtle way. He thinks of it as warming you up to the idea, whereas in fact, the truth is that he is afraid.
He Thinks That You Are Into Him
This guy may have no feelings for you what so ever as of now. At least feelings that can be called ‘love.’ Perhaps he thinks that you like him and are just too shy to say it. Maybe he finds you attractive and is only trying to find out how you feel about him.
So just to be sure, he is pulling this stunt. Whenever such a situation arises, it is safe not to react at all. Just play along and do your own math afterward.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating the guy who is saying I love you. What matters are the feelings he has for you. If you think that he genuinely loves you, then it is worth giving a shot.
Sometimes we should choose the road less traveled to experience something fresh instead of the regular trodden path. At the same time, don’t be naive and just dig into whatever he is saying. Take your time to figure things out and to know what you want for yourself.
Avoid making the same mistakes that a lot of girls do. Some believe tricksters while some turn down genuine guys. That’s it from our side. If you have anything to share or want to ask something, put it in the comments section below, and we will be happy to chat.