It hurts to see our close friend, family, or someone we know, broken. Is there a way you can share their grief?
There are no magical words that can make the pain of heartbreak go away immediately. Say something sweet, supportive, and encouraging to make a person feel better. Let them know that this is not the end of life. Focus on how you say things more than what you say. Don’t say something like ‘I told you so’.
If you are not careful, you can end up hurting them even more. Try to be kind and soft-spoken.
Best Advice For Someone Going Through A Breakup
Here is a list of exact phrases for you to use and let your loved one know that you care and are there for them whenever required.
1. It’s Okay To Cry And Let Your Emotions Flow
“It’s okay to cry and let your emotions flow. Don’t hold on to those feelings. I know you don’t want to accept the harsh truth and let that person go from your life. It’s important to let those tears flow and not bottle them up.
No one is going to judge you because it happens to everyone at least once in a lifetime. Cry your heart out.”
It is quite possible, they may not want their sadness to be seen by others and will try to bury it deep inside.
Ignoring the pain will only make it worse for them. Crying will soothe them and lift their mood and spirit.
Tell them to let those emotions out as it is the first step towards getting out of depression and moving on in life.
TABLE: Probability Of Visiting A Mental Health Therapist Based On Crying Frequency
|Frequency Of Crying||Chances Of Visiting A Mental Health Professional|
|4-5 times a year or more||6%|
|2-3 times a year||3%|
|Only once a year||4%|
|Less than once a year||7%|
2. Whenever You Are Ready, Let’s Talk About It
“Whenever you are ready, let’s talk about it. I know it’s hard for you to talk about what went wrong between you and your ex. While the shock of you guys splitting is still there, I totally understand that you need time to process this breakup and grieve your loss. Just know that I am there to listen whenever you need me.”
They need to open up and express their feelings, it will help them share their pain, and they will feel light-hearted.
Give them time and space if needed, don’t force your way in. Wait for them to talk and release this burden off their shoulders.
Talking about it at this point will only scratch fresh wounds.
3. Let’s Try And Get Your Ex Back…As A Team
“Try and get your ex back. Before you freak out over how to do it, know that we’ll do it as a team. I have formulated a plan and know the exact steps we should be taking. While I cannot guarantee success, it is better than doing nothing at all or doing something stupid and destroying all your chances of getting back.”
In the above text, you claim that you have a plan. But do you? Yes.
Can there be a better gift than something that works on the root cause of their misery, i.e., the absence of their ex?
Why don’t you help in rekindling their relationship? Why not make their ex feel the same attraction like they had at the beginning of the relationship?
How to do it? We have an awesome resource for you in the form of The Ex Factor Guide.
Team up with your loved one and take this up as a project. It’s much better than just gifting them this guide and leaving them all alone to figure things out.
Click here if your loved one –> Had a boyfriend.
Click here if your loved one –> Had a girlfriend.
Even if their ex doesn’t come back, they will be at a much better place mentally and emotionally due to the lessons in the guide.
What else? The two of you will get even closer.
4. Don’t Worry, I Am Always With You
“Don’t worry, I am always there for you. Do not feel that you are all alone. I will try to be around as much as possible and let me know if you need anything anytime. I love you.”
Someone who is going through a breakup will likely feel lonely, even if surrounded by lots of people.
They may try to isolate themselves because they are sad and devastated, but you should try to be around them, try to cheer them up.
You should assure them that you are always there for them no matter what. Tell them they are loved and are very special.
5. I Know It’s Tough, But You’ll Get Over This
“I know it’s tough, but you’ll get over this. Every day isn’t the same. You are feeling bad today, but tomorrow will be different, and you will feel better with each passing day. A breakup is not that bad. After all, people go through much worse than this. So, just hold tight and wait for the time to pass.”
During a breakup, people start to think that they will never get over their ex, and the pain is permanent.
But we all know everyone does get over their ex at one point or another. Let the person know that they will not feel this way forever, and it will end soon.
They just have to hold tight and wait.
6. You Are Stronger Than Your Breakup
“You are stronger than your breakup. It’s not easy, but you can totally handle it. Just be brave, and don’t let this breakup, break you. Instead, try to live your life to the fullest. Develop a strong desire to get over this and never let your ex come back to you.”
Yeah, tell them to not allow their ex back into their life because right now that person is the cause of their troubles.
The weight of heartbreak can be heavy and hard to bear, and while going through a heartbreak, people feel weak and lose all of their strength to fight.
It is necessary to make your loved ones realize how strong and brave they are, and they can overcome any difficult situation, let alone a breakup.
7. It’s Okay To Have A Failed Relationship
“It’s okay to have a failed relationship. Things didn’t work out between you two and it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. A breakup cannot define you. You are a great person and will always be.”
Some people feel guilty after they fail to make their relationship successful. They start to think that it was because of their flaw their partner left them.
Even if that’s true, tell them otherwise. Keep the corrective measures saved for a happier time in the future.
You need to make them feel that they are not a bad person. Everybody has flaws. No one is perfect, and one should always learn from their mistakes.
8. Everything Will Go Back To Normal Soon
“Everything will go back to normal. Nothing is permanent and this will pass too as everything else does, no matter how long it takes. Remember, time heals every broken heart.”
It will help to remind them that one can not stay stuck in one place forever. It takes time, but things go back to normal eventually.
There will be a time in the future where all this won’t even matter, and they will feel how naïve they were at this time to think that they’ll love their ex forever.
Tell them to stay strong and wait for time to heal all wounds.
9. You Need To Handle This Maturely
“You need to handle this maturely. I don’t want you to take any step in the heat of the moment and regret it later. Wait for your emotions to settle down and then decide carefully what you actually want to do.”
It is easy to play the blame game after a break and try demeaning the other partner.
In the flow of emotions and anger, people don’t get time to look through their actions carefully.
You should be there to save them from taking such steps, which they will regret later on.
After all, you must think in the best interest of your loved ones where they are not in the condition to see things straight.
10. You Deserve Someone Better Than Your Ex
“You deserve someone better than your ex. Darling, you are a smart and amazing person and you deserve to be treated in a better way. You need to let go and welcome the new opportunities life will unfold for you. It is your ex’s loss anyway.”
Make them see the reality that their ex left them and are no longer a part of their life. The ex didn’t put the required time and effort into their relationship.
Tell them how amazing they are, and they deserve someone better who will know how special they are and will always value their presence.
11. Please Don’t Punish Yourself
“Please don’t punish yourself. It’s no one’s fault. We know everything happens for a reason and trust me, that reason is not you. There was nothing that you could have done to save it from falling apart. You gave your best to that relationship.”
It is likely for people going through a breakup to blame themselves for the separation.
They try to find what they could have possibly done that made their partner drift away, which is a good thing to consider for the future, but solely blaming oneself can lead to self-loathing.
You need to make them believe that it’s not just their fault.
12. Take Care Of Yourself
“Take care of yourself. Don’t try to harm yourself in any way because there are a lot of people out there who genuinely care for you, including me. People who want you to be happy forever. You are precious.”
Going through a breakup is one of the most ruinous times of their life but ask them to have courage. They should not take steps toward destroying their life over a breakup.
They can take as much time they want to grieve. However, one should also know that they have a life to live.
And their life is surrounded by the people who actually value them and wish them well, the people who love them unconditionally.
13. Don’t Lose Hope
“Don’t lose hope. You’ll find someone loving and caring, just like you. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Just don’t stop looking and be the best version of yourself. I wish you all the luck in the world.”
Most people lose hope of finding someone right after their heartbreak. They lose their faith in love and start to question if anything like this even exists.
But it would be best to keep that faith alive in them. It would help if you tell them that there is someone out there who is better than the previous one.
Someone who will love them for who they are.
14. Take It As A Lesson
“Take it as a lesson, an experience that you had to go through. It will only make you wiser for the next time to not repeat the same mistakes. Know what to do and what not to do in the future and walk out of this situation with your head held high.”
Some people think that they wasted a whole lot of time for nothing, and it will bother them for a long time.
It would help if you tell them that it was not entirely a waste of time. It was a learning experience for them and some good memories associated with it.
At least they won’t make the same mistakes ahead.
15. It’s Better To Let Go Than Drag
“It was better to let go of this relationship than drag it. Even if you make things right, it won’t be the same as before. And ask yourself how long can you drag this alone? It’s better to do it now than years later after wasting a lot of time.”
Sometimes, people want to cling on to a person even after breaking up. They can’t bear the pain of separation and think that they will probably die without that person.
Regardless of how life-shattering the situation may seem, tell them to let go and stop dragging the baggage of emotions.
Ask them to move forward in life with self-esteem.
16. Just Don’t Call Or Text Your Ex
“Don’t call or text your ex because I don’t want you to end up hurting even more. Trust me, you don’t really want to know what’s going on in your ex’s life. Doing so will only remind you of the times you are trying so hard to forget. It will be better for you to just stay away from your ex and ghost them.”
After a breakup, it gets tough for people to resist their impulses of being in contact with their ex.
Ask them if they want to move on in life and leave that failed relationship behind? Then they should strictly follow the ‘no contact rule’ for at least 30 days.
For the next 30 days, they should not initiate contact with their ex. If the ex calls or texts, they can choose whether to respond or not.
If they do respond, keep the conversation to a bare minimum. They should be polite and stay away from accusing their ex or begging them to come back.
Doing so will give them the time for a fresh start to their life without the thought of their ex.
17. There Is More To Life Than A Breakup
“There is more to life than a breakup. It is not the end of the world. All you need is to get out and look around. You have everything, your family, your friends and all of us love you. Be single for a while and try to explore life.”
You are reminding them that it is just a part of life and not an end to the world.
It will help them understand that breakup is not that big a deal, and there is more to life. All they need is a new perspective.
They can overcome this anytime they want if they’ll act wisely.
18. Let’s Go Out And Have Some Fun
“Let’s go out and have some fun. It will take your mind off things. You sure as hell need some mind-blowing distractions. Let me know if something comes to your mind, I am all in for anything.”
People try to lock themselves up after a breakup. They try to shut down the outside world completely.
It’s good to give space for a while but interfere when it gets out of control. You need to help them come out of that lonely and grieving phase.
Take them out to do things that they like. Help them reconnect to their original selves. Go out and make some good memories.
19. It Happens To Everybody At Least Once
“It happens to everybody at least once. The feeling of being broken might be new to you but it is not abnormal and extraordinary. You’ll also get through this just fine, like everyone else. Don’t be afraid though, I am always with you to hold your hands and support you.
Whatever happened, it happened for a reason. Maybe this is what’s best for you.”
It would be best if you guided them through their breakup.
Become an expert even if you are not because it will help them see what they are feeling is no different than what others have felt.
It is a familiar feeling to everyone, and everyone must experience it to grow emotionally stronger for the future.
Also, they get to grow in this phase of life. They learn what needs to be changed in life and will get an idea about their preferences for the future.
20. You Should Take Some Time Off
“You should take some time off. Go on a vacation and blow some steam off, it will be nice. Maybe you’ll meet someone new over there or at least make a new friend. Just follow your heart and see where it takes you.”
For some people changing the environment helps. Ask them to go and spend some time alone, away from the hustle-and-bustle to reflect upon their life.
It can act as a reset button for them, totally taking their mind off the breakup. It may further allow them to set up new goals for life.
Just suggest this idea and don’t force this thought on them though. If they feel like it, they will take your suggestion. Give them some time to grieve too.
21. Rebound Is A Good Idea
“Hey! Rebound is a good idea. But only if you are ready and comfortable with the idea. Let me know how you feel about this and I will try to set you up with a hot friend.”
Sometimes rebound relationships are good post-breakup because we focus on a new person and it takes our mind off our ex.
Another reason behind suggesting a rebound relationship is to get the lost confidence back, by making them realize that they are capable of attracting new people.
But this should only be suggested if they are ready and trying not to escape the pain of a breakup through rebound.
Otherwise, they will hurt the feelings of this new person. Therefore, a rebound dating or relationship is what we are suggesting and not aimless sleeping around.
Casual rebounds will only make them feel guilty and hurt afterward.
Being supportive means not saying anything that will increase their suffering even more. Apart from what to say, also focus on how you say things.
No matter how worse the breakup is, just knowing that you are concerned and are there for them will make them feel needed and loved again.
Now over to you. What will you say? Will you try and get their ex back or will you suggest a rebound relationship?
Either way, tell us in the comments.