Kissing is the first step towards intimacy, and it can be extremely frustrating if your guy refuses to kiss you.
When a guy doesn’t want to kiss you, it means he is not interested in you or is planning to break up. Unless, of course, he has said no only once. Then it means he was not comfortable kissing in that particular moment or environment.
What can you do about it? Actively show interest in him and don’t give mixed signals. Make sure that your oral health is good. Use mouth fresheners or mints if you feel that a romantic moment is about to come.
Reasons Why He Won’t Kiss You
1. He Wants It To Be Perfect
If it’s your first kiss, he is waiting for the right time and right circumstances to kiss you. Maybe every time he tries to make a move, something comes up that ruins the moment and his feelings. He has already imagined how he wants it to be, and till now, he has not found that perfect time and place.
Maybe he is planning for it again, and when that day comes, he will make a move.
2. Unsure About What You Want
Has it occurred to you that maybe this guy is not clear about what you want? Do you want to be kissed or not? Yes, you do! But probably all this while you’ve been giving him mixed signals or failed to put your intentions across clearly. Hence it confused him whether to initiate a kiss or keep his distance.
No decent guy would want to kiss a girl without her consent. It doesn’t mean you have to be bold and tell him upfront that you want to be kissed. It will kill the mystery and the chemistry. But make sure you give him clear signs that you like him too and want to be kissed.
3. He Is Nervous Around You
Another reason could be that the guy you are seeing lacks confidence or is shy around girls. Maybe while growing up, he had bare minimum contact with girls. If he has never kissed anyone before and you’ll be his first kiss, he is bound to be extra nervous about it.
And maybe when he did kiss someone, he was told that he is a bad kisser, which left a mark on his psyche. That’s why he has been stopping himself from kissing you, as he doesn’t want history repeating itself. Boost his self-confidence by complimenting him about what he is good at.
When the time is right, you make a move instead.
4. He Is Taking It Slow
Some guys don’t want to jump the gun when it comes to building a bond. Possibly your guy feels differently about you than any other girl he has been with and wants to connect with you on a deeper level.
When things get physical, he finds it difficult to feel that connection, so he wants to take things slow and let time take its course. Don’t try to rush anything. Taking things slow will help him feel more confident about you.
Also, he may be holding back because of the past experiences where moving fast made him miss the red flags, and he ended up being hurt.
5. He Wants You To Initiate
He is not making the first move because he is trying to play hard to get or never makes the first move. He wants you to initiate the kiss. Maybe he likes to see how much you want him. Or he is scared that when he leans in to kiss you, you’ll pull away.
To avoid embarrassment, he is waiting for you to lean forward and initiate the long-awaited kiss.
6. He Has A High Libido
A high libido is not a problem until it becomes uncontrollable. If your guy has a high libido, it will be difficult for him to hold himself back after kissing you, and that’s why he’s not initiating it. He knows it can be too soon to go further than just a kiss.
Also, people with a high libido find it difficult to be with one person for a long time. He is waiting till he figures out what exactly he wants.
7. Aversion To Physical Contact
This one’s a bit odd but still a valid reason. Do you remember Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory? Some people have an aversion to physical contact. If your guy keeps using sanitizers and is very keen about cleanliness around him, you are with a textbook a germaphobe.
Germaphobes do kiss, but before that, they will ensure that your oral hygiene is on point. Sheldon did give in to Amy after all!
8. He Is Asexual
Not all asexual people experience a lack of romance. Some do like to kiss and cuddle whenever they feel good. But maybe your guy is one of those who doesn’t even want to kiss. Every asexual person is different.
Do not get mad and force the guy to kiss you just because you read an asexual person mention on the internet that they are okay with kissing and even like it.
9. He Doesn’t Like The Way You Kiss
Did you kiss him just once or twice, and then he became reluctant to kiss you again? Probably, he doesn’t like the way you kiss. Instead of telling you directly and risking hurting your feelings, he stopped doing it altogether. Learning how to kiss.
There are so many techniques. A quick Google search can help you. See what you are doing. Do you use too much tongue or perhaps go crazy and bite his lips?
10. He Doesn’t Feel About You That Way
Probably, the chemistry you’ve been feeling all this while was just in your head. You’ve been misinterpreting all the signs. He was never into you in a romantic way and only liked spending time with you.
You mistook it as his interest in you. You’ve always been nothing but a good friend to him.
11. He Is Planning To Break Up
A possible reason for his refusal to kiss you is that he is trying to get rid of you. If he plans to break up with you, he will start maintaining his distance which involves less physical contact and being unavailable.
You might have noticed him ignoring you, and whenever you guys meet, you get a cold vibe from him. He is not the same person as before. Forget about kissing you, he doesn’t even hold your hands now. You better start reevaluating your relationship with this guy.
12. You Have Bad Breath
Do you have bad breath? You won’t feel like kissing a person if they have bad breath, right? The same rule applies to you. Maybe every time he is close to you, your breath acts as a huge turnoff. Check your breath. There are different tests like the sniffing test or floss test to help you out.
Visit your dentist for expert advice. Also, try changing your oral hygiene routine or lookout for what you eat. Your diet impacts how your mouth smells. Try eating mouth fresheners or mints before kissing him. However, don’t make them an everyday habit. They are full of sugar.
Even the zero-calorie ones are no good. Try finding the root cause of your problem and focus on treating it instead.
13. You Are Scaring Him
You want to be kissed, but do you send signals of a psychopath when he is around? You might be giving him death stares without even realizing it. It may be making him control his desires and be wary of trying it with you.
Have you really been expressive of how you feel about him, or were you pushing him away unintentionally all this time? Open up to him, and don’t hold back your emotions. Just go with the flow and help him get comfortable with you.
14. He Lost Interest In You
Have the recent dates felt like he was there physically but not so much mentally? Did he like your company as much as you like his? He may be re-evaluating whether or not he should continue dating you. Clearly, the dates did not go well for him.
You might be a wonderful person, but he seeks something and someone else. Did you guys really hit it off? Or was he just pretending all this while to avoid being rude?
15. Waiting For The ‘Love Of His Life’
Some people like to save their first kiss for the right person or the ‘love of their life’. If you aren’t her, this guy won’t kiss you. To him, kissing you without loving you feels like desecrating a sacred desire. He will regret it if you guys don’t end up together.
Do not move forward with this guy unless you really want to be ‘the one’ for him.
What Does Kissing Mean To A Man?
For a man, kissing is a means to gauge your interest in him. The intensity of your kiss and how excited you are afterward, help him decide whether or not it is okay to take the next step with you. Kissing helps him shed inhibitions and get more intimate with you.
If he genuinely cares about you, kissing is also a way of expressing his feelings, affection, and love for you. Here are a few more things kissing could mean for a man:
1. Purely Physical Interest
If a guy kisses you passionately on the lips, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he loves you. A guy looking only for a hook-up can kiss you with the almost same passion as a guy who loves you. Lust is a powerful driving force and a friends with benefits arrangement makes sense to him.
He may have some feelings for you, but you cannot say anything definitively. You can’t claim that he loves you unless all his actions point in that direction.
2. Did It In The Heat Of The Moment
Sometimes a guy would kiss you in the heat of the moment but regret it later because he’ll fear it will ruin your friendship. You can be sure about it if the next day he behaves awkwardly or starts ignoring you. He won’t want to discuss the kiss at all.
Even if he does, he would be apologetic and regretful because he doesn’t feel anything for you. He might feel guilty about giving you the wrong impression.
3. He’s A Cheater
A guy who is seeing someone else can also kiss you with the intention of cheating on his current partner. You could only be a plaything for him, and by kissing you, he intends to fake interest before getting laid.
To vet him, see if he only wants to bed you down as soon as possible or is willing to do whatever it takes to win your heart. A bad relationship might make a man behave irrationally, but cheating isn’t justified. If he wants you, he’ll have to let go of the person he is with.
4. He Loves You
A guy who’s in love with you will lay a lot of value on the kiss. He’ll feel burdened to make it perfect. Even if he isn’t the best kisser in the world, at least he’ll try to make it memorable for you. His actions, words, and gestures all will point towards how madly he wants to be in a relationship with you.
His kiss comes from a place of warmth, affection, care, and love for you. You’ll feel the innocence of his love in his eyes every time he’ll kiss you.
Can A Relationship Work Without Kissing?
A romantic relationship cannot work without kissing. Kissing is the gateway to emotional intimacy, bonding, and trust between a couple. It plays a big part in escalating physical attraction and shedding the initial inhibitions. Two people in love kiss at least 2-3 times a day on average.
When we talk about romantic relationships, kissing becomes a way of showing your affection and emotions towards the person you love. Be it a very intimate one on the lips or a peck on the cheeks, a kiss is a great way to show affection.
If either you or your partner isn’t comfortable with kissing, ensure that the other person knows the exact reasons behind it. Being kept in the dark will lead to irrational conclusions and will ultimately lead to a breakup.
If the guy refuses to kiss you, you deserve to know why. But your approach to finding out the reason doesn’t need to be an upsetting argument or drama. Being polite, understanding, and open to making changes will go a long way. Sometimes it is too soon to draw any conclusions.
Give him some time and see where it takes you. You both need to be on the same page. Tell us in the comments why your guy wasn’t kissing you and how you solved the problem.