Monotony in relationships is normal and inevitable. But don’t get so comfortable that you start taking your boyfriend for granted. Become a proactive girlfriend while tackling problems.
To make your boyfriend chase you, create a distance through your absence, so he misses you. Start being less available to make him value you. Don’t initiate contact for the next few weeks. Simultaneously, work on becoming an attractive woman, so he fears losing you to other men.
But don’t come off as distant and cold. Just pull back a little to make him take the lead. Express enough affection, so he doesn’t feel you are shutting him down. Else, you’ll push him further away.
How Do You Keep Him Chasing You In A Relationship?
He doesn’t chase you now because he doesn’t see you as a prize. Initially, you created excitement, spark, and attraction, but now there is nothing in it for him.
Things have become monotonous, which is natural. Yes, you are in a more comfortable and warm space, but that is also why you take each other for granted.
1. Start By Being Unavailable
We value things we don’t have, and once we do, we stop appreciating them. The same happens to us in a relationship.
The more you are available, the less valuable you become. How can you expect him to chase you when you are running after him all the time?
You must make him feel your absence. Stop being available all the time and give your man some space to think about you and miss you.
2. Leave Your Phone Alone
From now on, do not call or text him all the time. Make sure he is the one calling you first for at least the next 3-4 weeks.
Do not respond to his texts or calls right away. Should you ignore him deliberately and play games? No! That is unattractive and childish.
We are asking you to get busy with your own life. Find something exciting and worthwhile to spend your time on. To do that, you must not sit by your phone all the time.
TABLE: Women With Boyfriends Spending Time On Their Phone
| Activity | Percentage Of Time Spent |
|---|---|
| Listening to music | 7% |
| Social media | 39% |
| Streaming videos | 4% |
| Playing games | 1% |
| Talking to boyfriend | 41% |
| Others | 8% |
He should be the one initiating contact and making plans to meet. Plan your day in a way so that you don’t have much time to devote to your phone.
Keep yourself genuinely busy in other activities. Do respond to his texts or calls in between so that he doesn’t feel like you are ignoring him.
However, keep the conversations short and sweet. 20-30 text messages in a day or a maximum of 15 minutes on calls for the next 30 days should be your target.
3. Minimize Your Efforts
Do you feel that you have spoiled him with all the love and affection you’ve been showering on him lately?
All the efforts you’ve been putting in to keep him happy have only resulted in an imbalance. Now is the time to slowly take it all away from him.
Take a step back and start minimizing the amount of effort you put into this relationship. Invest less and devote less time and energy.
Pull back on some emotional and physical connection as well. It’s time to be a bit selfish because a happy relationship only thrives on balance.
If he isn’t putting in the required effort, he shouldn’t be getting the benefit of your time and presence in return.
4. Have A Life Of Your Own
The best way to make him chase you is to have your own life. Do not make him your world but a part of your world.
He should know that you have better things to do in life than just being his girlfriend.
You have your work, friends, and family who you care about, and those are equally important to you.
Do not sit around and wait for him to value you or make you feel special but get up and become that someone special.
You have a life outside your relationship. Live it, and you will start to feel the change.
This will also prepare you for the worse, where he doesn’t change, and you end up breaking up with him.
5. Prioritize Yourself Over Him
Being in a relationship consumes you gradually. You are so engrossed in looking out for your partner that you forget to take care of yourself.
You stop growing as a person and get stuck in one place. This makes you lose the self-confidence that you once had.
Take your mind off him and start worrying about yourself. Prioritize your physical fitness and spend time with yourself.
Add some new skills or hobbies to your personality and begin reading good books. Don’t just be a pretty face.
Once you start focusing on your life, you will automatically become less available for him.
He would want to be with you after seeing this new and improved version of you.
6. Set Boundaries And Have Standards
When it comes to relationships, we tend to have bleak boundaries and lower our standards for the person we love.
It is fine sometimes, but always doing so will make you a woman of low value. You give him an edge to walk all over you and let him treat you however he wants.
He doesn’t fear losing you because he knows you aren’t going anywhere.
It’s important to set the boundaries right from the beginning of your relationship, but it’s not too late to get started if you haven’t.
Stop tolerating everything and speak up for yourself. Keep your tone polite but get the point across firmly.
There is nothing more attractive than a woman who values herself and has standards.
7. Take Him Off The Pedestal
You have put him on a high pedestal by showing immense affection and care.
Over time, begging him for his attention and trying to win his affection has brought you to a situation where he is unwilling to come down from that high ground.
In your mind, you have this false idea that he is perfect, and you are never going to get someone like him.
Because of such thoughts, you are ready to do whatever it takes to make him stay with you. Do you realize this reeks of needy and desperate behavior?
You need to change his mindset by not being the one who’s chasing. Remember that you are a catch.
He should know that you will slip off right through his hands if he doesn’t stop being completely insensitive to your needs.
8. Become Independent
Being independent is an important factor when it comes to relationships. At first, it feels nice to have someone take care of you and fulfill your needs.
But sometimes, we don’t realize that we have become too dependent on the person we are with.
For our partner, it becomes hard to keep catering to our needs, emotional or otherwise, for long.
If you are dependent on him, he will most likely start seeing you as a burden which is a big attraction killer.
It will put too much pressure on him, leaving him exhausted. Try being an independent woman and cut him some slack here. You aren’t a child.
9. Stop Sharing Everything With Him
In a relationship, we often start sharing everything with our partners, and after a while, they know almost everything about us. Where’s the mystery in that?
And where there’s no mystery, how do you expect the attraction to survive? Stop sharing every little detail about your life unless he asks you.
If there is nothing new left to share, it will make your relationship monotonous. To avoid that, you must start keeping some part of your life hidden from him.
Then, when the right time comes, and you share new stories with him, it will take him by surprise.
Maybe you can take up new hobbies or learn a new language, or anything you didn’t do before.
Keeping some part of your life or personality a mystery will help you retain excitement in your relationship.
10. Make Him Invest In The Relationship
We value things in which we invest. Be it our time, energy, emotions, or an achievement, we only value the result more when it isn’t handed to us on a silver platter.
Get him to invest in you again. Men have this primal instinct to value a woman more if they have to work hard to get her. Make him work hard to get your attention.
Don’t listen or agree to everything he says. Have your own opinion as well. Don’t always watch the things he recommends or go to places he likes going to.
Suggest alternatives and tell him what you have in mind. When doing common things, try to get your way as well to keep the balance maintained.
11. Let Him Have His Own Space
We know you want to hog all his attention so that he only has eyes for you and loves you the way you want to be loved.
But do you realize that you might be suffocating him by invading his personal space? Drowning a seed in water 24×7 doesn’t mean you’ll have a healthy plant.
You’ll kill the seed or the sapling this way. To grow, a plant requires sunlight and air as well. It needs space to grow.
Similarly, to grow your relationship, you need to let your boyfriend be.
To have him keep coming back to you, you must provide him that space where he feels relaxed.
Don’t be stubborn and childish when he expresses his need for space.
But when he comes to you and wants to spend time with you, do not nag him about being unavailable. Be a warm and caring girlfriend only when he wants it.
Become his medium of escape from the harsh realities of the world outside.
12. Make Plans Without Him
Go out with your friends and family without him. Have a separate friend circle which he is not a part of.
Do exciting things all by yourself so that you have something new to talk about and share with him when you come back.
The key is to be comfortable with your own company and enjoy your life without him.
But if things stay the same even after you try everything, he probably has lost all interest in you.
When you cannot salvage the situation, you should be willing to leave him. Otherwise, he will start feeding on your fear of being dumped and take advantage.
How Do I Make Him Worry About Losing Me?
To make him worry about losing you, become an attractive woman to other men. Take good care of your body and invest your time in becoming an engaging personality. Become the ultimate woman that men would die to be with. When he sees guys flirting with you left and right, he’ll freak out.
He has stopped worrying about losing you because he takes you for granted. He has started to believe that you are never going to leave him no matter what.
Further, he knows that you will tolerate in whatever way he behaves with you and let it slide. From where did he get this idea? You.
You have lost your value in his eyes by being needy and available all the time.
However, it isn’t too late to make him realize that’s not true, and that you can leave him anytime you feel like.
He should know that you won’t be compromising with your needs because he has become lazy enough to ignore them.
1. Stop With The Incessant Complaining
A guy would never come around and realize his mistakes if you’ll keep nagging him about them.
His mistakes should dawn upon him without your intervention.
Else, he will think that you are just a whining girl who keeps complaining about what’s absent in your relationship instead of appreciating what’s present.
As a result, your guy may begin avoiding you. This will be evident through changes like not responding to your texts as frequently as before and missing your calls.
He may also get irritated and ultimately think about leaving you for a girl who appreciates him more. So what should you do about it?
Stop with the constant nagging. But isn’t it unfair, equal to suppressing your voice to appease him and not being your true self? No. Why?
Because nagging is different from voicing your concern. A strong woman expresses what she wants but only a weak woman nags.
When the concerns of a strong woman aren’t addressed, she has the courage to walk away. When he fears losing you, only then will he see his own flaws.
You do not need to nag. You only need to stop putting up with everything that he throws your way and dare to leave him if required.
2. Don’t Show It Affects You
Being taken for granted, ignored, and not being appreciated in a relationship hurts.
We know how bad it feels and the insane amount of self-control required to not scream at the top of your lungs out of frustration.
But this is what it will take to change things.
Suppose you’re walking on the road and come across a flea-ridden dog whose so thin and weak that its ribs are showing. What would most people do?
They ensure that the disease-infested dog doesn’t come near them. The kinder ones might give it some food and water, but that’s it.
Now imagine the dog of your neighbor. Whenever it is around, you feel the urge to play with it and pet it. Theoretically speaking, which dog needs your love?
The neglected one. But which dog gets your love in the real world? The one who doesn’t have ‘I need love and care’ written all over it. That’s the reality of life.
If you show how affected you’re by his neglect, you’ll never get his attention. Behave like the dog who has everything and couldn’t care less if you pet it or not.
Your boyfriend will then subconsciously feel the need to love you more.
When you’re least worried about how he treats you or how much time he invests in the relationship, it’ll make him curious.
He’ll be curious about whether or not you’re into him at all and fear that some other man is the center of your attention.
He will then start showing interest in your life to ensure that everything is okay between the two of you.
3. Get Him Out Of His Comfort Zone
It’s natural to slip into your comfort zone after being with a person for a while.
Being comfortable with your partner is one thing, but being lazy with your efforts and refusing to step out of your comfort zone isn’t acceptable.
You need to get him out of his comfort zone by not giving him too much comfort to treat you like a foot mat.
You cannot be treated like a person who’ll still be lying at the doorstep in the morning and waiting to be walked over.
Create an urgency in him that if he won’t change his ways, there is a great chance that you will dump him for good. You need not say it.
Your actions and being less available should be indication enough. Stop being head over heels for him and show less affection.
Start caring less and less, and this will make him uncomfortable.
He will start to feel that your behavior towards him is changing, and if he doesn’t do anything about it soon, he may even lose you completely.
Let him earn your love and affection.
4. Cut Him Off Completely For A Few Days
For this to work well, you’ll have to follow our previous tip of staying away from your phone.
The more time you spend with your phone, the more you’ll want to call him up or drop a text.
In case he doesn’t respond, you’ll want to bombard him with all sorts of questions. Doing so would only make you look unattractive.
You’ll come across as an idler who has nothing better to do in life than bothering her boyfriend all the time.
By cutting him off completely, you’ll send his psyche into a shock because it would be unusual.
He will worry about what’s happening and get a taste of what his life will be like without you. He will see your bond with him weaken.
But how can you cut him off effectively and without being manipulative? The best way is to plan a vacation with some friends.
If you cannot do it now, plan it for a month after but do it. And don’t tell your boyfriend about it until a couple of days before the departure.
Drop the bomb on him as late as possible and make it look like it was a sudden decision.
During the vacation, you’ll naturally miss a few calls and reply to texts very late. But cutting him off completely is the most effective strategy here.
Before going on vacation, tell him that you’ll be away from your phone to declutter your mind a bit, but you will call him in case of an emergency.
If he needs you for something urgent, he can drop a text, and you’ll respond as soon as you can.
Having no contact with you at all for 5-7 days will give him ample time to miss you.
5. Recreate The Attraction
Why is your boyfriend with you? Because he was once attracted to the woman, you no longer are. You had something which compelled him to get closer to you.
But now, you are not the person you were when you started dating. You need to change your lifestyle, your appearance and revamp yourself.
Will you be doing it for him? No. Whether or not he starts chasing you is irrelevant. You need to do this for your own good before your self-esteem takes a hit.
The worst rejection is the rejection when we feel while looking into the mirror.
An out-of-shape, unfit body, a mind without knowledge, not doing enough for those around us are some of the things you see when you reflect upon what you are doing with your life.
Hit the gym, follow a skincare routine, and eat healthy. Start reading, lap up knowledge, and amaze yourself with the new you.
Become more attractive to yourself before you become more attractive to anybody else. While doing so, you’ll surely recreate the attraction he once felt.
Will A Man Chase You If He Wants You?
A man will chase you if he wants you. Men are wired to only see value in things that they have to compete for. They like the thrill of a tough chase because it gets their dopamine flowing. But if he sees you as too easy or someone not worth fighting for, he’ll never want you and never chase you.
You have to keep him coming for you if you want him as well. Otherwise, he will feel like he is the only one interested in this dynamic and will stop after a while.
You not acknowledging his interest in you can make him worry about offending you or making you angry by chasing you.
You must give him the right signals to keep pursuing you. Apply the push and pull technique.
Push him away when you think he is getting too close to you, and pull him back when he behaves a bit distant. But make it all fun and exciting in a good way.
You don’t want to be rude while pushing him away, as it will bust his positive energy and leave him with a negative impression of you.
Some men with a lot of pride won’t chase a woman no matter what.
It contradicts their vision of manliness, and they think less of men who chase to please a woman.
While you don’t want a flatterer, you don’t want an uptight man either with a misogynistic mindset. A balanced man is a much more appropriate choice.
So, if your boyfriend is someone who’ll never chase a woman, you might want to rethink being with him at all.
Conclusion
Making him chase you in a relationship is not a tough task. You just need to keep your emotions out of the equation and not look needy.
Minimize the amount of effort you put in to match his level. The less he gets of you, the more he’ll want you.
Now tell us, how will you make your boyfriend chase you? Will you become less available or will you let other men flirt with you in front of him?
Either way, let us know in the comments below!