Couples often get back together after a breakup, but rarely are they able to stay together. Almost all of them overlook the key concept that can help their relationship become stronger and bring them closer.
Invoke the same level of feelings and attraction in your partner that they felt for you at your relationship’s highest point. You have to bring back the honeymoon period and make your partner realize why did they choose you. Simultaneously, eliminate the reasons that resulted in a breakup, one by one.
Better communication, correcting the errors, and spending quality time with your partner will help you rebuild the lost connection. Afterall, trust, respect, and understanding are the three main pillars that make a relationship stronger.
Steps To Make Your Relationship Stronger Post Breakup
Finally, after the frustrating breakup and being apart, have you decided to get back together and make things work with your partner? Getting back together after a breakup can feel pretty strange because many things in the relationship need re-evaluation.
You need to see things from a whole new perspective. Here are some helpful tips to make your relationship stronger than before, no matter what the reason for the breakup was.
1. Ask Yourself Some Questions
Before you even begin repairing your relationship, it is important to know whether your partner wants the same things as you. Do they genuinely want to mend things, or are they giving this relationship a half-hearted attempt just because you kept on begging to get back together?
Neediness might get you a foot in the door, but you’ll never be welcomed with open arms. Equal amounts of effort are needed from both sides to bring the required change and positivity. Otherwise, you’ll be the only one putting in all the effort and exhaust yourself for nothing in the process.
Ensure that you both want to give your relationship another chance and thus put in 100% effort to make it grow.
2. Change Begins At Home
You want to change things? Start with yourself. Look within and analyze yourself. See where you lacked as a partner and as a human being too. Because if you are not nice to others, you can’t be nice to your partner or anyone related to you.
Think of the changes you want to see in your relationship and bring those changes in yourself first. You want a relationship without fights? Practice the habit of presenting logical facts instead of sarcastic retorts in case of a disagreement. There was too much negativity?
Learn how you can keep things positive in the environment you are in. Abandon habits that may harm you, your relationship, or bother those around you. Practice healthy living and the art of kindness. Breathe and relax!
3. Recreate A Connection
It is very common for couples to feel distant when they come together after a breakup because the bonds that kept them together snap due to constant arguments and fights. The hardest part is to rebuild that attraction and level of affection.
Think of this situation as the beginning of your relationship where everything felt colorful, happy, and you made efforts to woo each other. Take your partner out on dates and try to know them again from scratch. Have a genuine intention of knowing them again, and do not do it just for the sake of it.
See what you missed the last time and try to see them in a different light. Take an interest in them like never before, try to create a better bond, and recreate the lost connection.
4. Take Things Slow And Be Patient
You may want everything to be like before as soon as possible. This will make you want to rush through the whole process in excitement. But by doing so, you will only be forcing things upon your partner in phase 2.0 of this relationship. You have to be real patient this time.
Let things sink in and wait for those emotions to settle down. Give yourself and your partner the freedom to understand their feelings towards you and this relationship. The flower only blooms when spring comes. Also, too little or too much water can kill the plant.
Enjoy this time as much as you can, rather than thinking about the end result. The process here is more important.
5. Solve The Primary Issues First
One of the most important things to do after you reunite with your partner is to work upon the issues you kept facing as a couple before the breakup. It would be complete stupidity to start afresh without resolving the existing problems.
If you do not sort things out, you will both keep hitting dead-end no matter how much you try. Sit together and talk about the problems that kept on resurfacing. Make the other person happy by doing things their way, have it your way, or find common grounds.
Do whatever suits you but do not sit idle and wait for some magic to fix your relationship. Find out why things happened and how you can deal with them as a team rather than opponents. It won’t be easy, but you both will have to compromise and understand each other.
Bend some rules, do not hold grudges, and kill your pride to make things work. Don’t try to solve everything at once. Take baby steps and give each other time to make changes and also adapt to these changes.
6. Give Each Other Some Space
Since you were together before the breakup and were very comfortable with each other, you may have never thought about each other’s private space. But you guys broke up due to some reason, and once things break, they don’t stay the same as before.
You may not even realize that you are intruding in their private space and might forget your boundaries. Also, you may suffocate your partner with all the desperation to make everything alright asap. If they need space and ask for it, give it to them.
Even if they don’t, try not to intrude into their privacy. Remember that you people broke up, and this is the new beginning. Things have changed, and now it is important more than ever to keep your distance because one mistake and you can lose this chance. Don’t pressurize your partner and let them be.
7. Meet The Expectations
Most relationships fail because we lack at meeting the expectations of our partner. It is essential to communicate what you expect and also know what your partner expects from you. This way, you both will know each other’s needs and will be able to make a way to meet those needs.
But your expectations should always be realistic and not childish. Try to understand each other and not force things on each other. Don’t go out of your way to meet those expectations just because you fear losing your partner. The reverse is also true.
Do it for their happiness but don’t push your limits. Meeting each other’s needs shouldn’t feel like a heavy burden that you have to carry just for the sake of keeping your relationship together rather than doing it out of a free will.
8. Gain The Lost Trust
When it comes to relationships, trust plays a crucial part in keeping people together. If you trust your partner and your partner has full faith in you, nothing can come between you two. But if you betray your partner by any means, then rebuilding that trust becomes very difficult.
Trust is something that you can’t build overnight. It will be hard for them to trust again or vice versa. Your partner may test you in many ways to see if you are reliable or not. So, after a breakup rebuilding, the trust will take a lot of time, effort and patience.
It would be nice to lose any habit that makes you seem dishonest in your partner’s eyes.
9. Treat Your Partner Right
Buying an elephant is easy but maintaining the resources to feed it is not an easy task. Getting into a relationship is easy, but keeping it together takes a lot of hard work because now it’s not only about you but also another person you have to care about.
You must consider them as a part of your life and respect their feelings as well. Abandoning them when you don’t need them or only talking to them when you feel is selfish and terrible. Don’t put on them all the burden of this keeping this relationship going.
Share that burden and share the responsibilities. Remember all those times where you mistreated your partner and try to fix that. Keeping their needs in mind, and taking good care of them is important. You may already know what they like.
Do everything you did initially but stopped because you slipped into the comfort zone. Treating your partner right will take your relationship a long way.
10. Never Repeat Your Mistakes
All these efforts will be good for nothing if you repeat the mistakes that resulted in a breakup earlier. Even if both of you made some mistakes, make sure that you are not redoing them. Doing so will remind your partner of the past and all the bad memories associated with it.
It will cause a breakdown and put all the progress miles back. Never repeat your mistakes or remind your partner of the bad times.
11. Share Things As Much As Possible
Being secretive can make your partner feel neglected. If previously you failed at sharing things with your partner and kept them at the edge, now is the perfect time to make that right. Sharing things with your partner will allow you to create a personal bond with them, and they would also feel connected.
Make your partner an integral part of your life. Let them know and feel how important they are to you and how you are incomplete without them. Share things that are important to you or ask them about their life. Don’t stay aloof and distant.
Reach out and talk to each other about anything or everything. Communication and sharing will make your bond strong.
12. Revive The Intimacy
After a breakup reviving the spark in bed can become even more challenging than before. Thus, you better not jump the gun and scare your partner away. Initially, start with little acts of physical touches like hugging, snuggling, a kiss on cheeks or something like that to see if they approve of it.
Only then build upon it and try taking things further. If there is any sign of resistance, step back because you don’t want to piss them off. If things go right, try to ignite the spark, know your ways around your partner, and try something new that they like and will spice things up a little bit.
Another way to show the new and better you is to explore and bring passion and new techniques into your lovemaking.
13. Build New Memories Together
Another way to make your relationship beautiful again is to paint the wall new. It is always better to replace the bad memories with good ones. Take your partner back to all those places where you made them feel bad or hurt and replace it with a good memory by making them feel special in that very place.
And not only a place, but it could also be a particular occasion or recreating a scenario from the past. Build some new and beautiful memories that they will cherish from this point forward. Together do things that you never did before. Or make a bucket list and try to complete them all.
This will give you both mutual goals to work for.
14. Keep Things Exciting
In almost every long-term relationship, it is natural for couples to hit monotony after a while. Some couples understand and work upon it, while some choose to stay in their comfort zones. Adding an element of surprise in your relationship helps in keeping your partner’s interest going.
Don’t fall back into the routine that you followed before the breakup. Plan new things with your partner, be it a date night or movie night or binge-watching something at home. You could also seek new activities like adventure sports, jungle camping, trekking, scuba diving, and many other offbeat things.
Adrenaline rush helps people bond together. Try not to let your relationship become stale.
15. Don’t Fall Back
It is very easy to put a charade of being a perfect partner for a while and then end it all once you have achieved what you wanted. By doing so, you’ll be able to get things done only for the short term. Once your partner realizes it was all a show, they will leave you forever in no time.
Ensure the changes you bring in yourself are genuine, and you won’t abandon the newly formed good habits after pleasing your partner. Being perfect is not important but learning from your mistakes and never repeating them is what it takes to be a good partner.
Can A Relationship Be Stronger After A Breakup?
Breakups are ugly, heartbreaking, difficult to get over, but usually permanent. However, if you decide to give your partner another chance, or vice-versa, that means your bond is stronger than the feelings that lead to separation. There is still hope. If you believe in your partner and yourself, know that your relationship can become stronger.
1. You Begin To Value Your Partner Even More
When a relationship is new, you tend to appreciate it, and you make sure that you keep your partner happy so that they won’t leave you. But as time passes by, you slip into a more comfortable zone with your partner. You unknowingly take them for granted and assume that they aren’t going anywhere.
And when the breakup finally happens, it leaves you in shock because you didn’t expect it to happen. After breaking up, you get enough time to reflect on your behavior, see where you lacked, and let your partner down.
When you get back together after a breakup, your love becomes stronger than before because you got the time to realize how much you love your partner. You’ll try to give your partner the love and respect that they deserve.
And since your partner was willing to get back to you, it won’t be wrong to say that they missed you a lot too.
2. Your Mistakes Teach You
Breakup gives you a chance to stay apart and analyze your relationship. You get to understand the good and the bad, allowing you to learn from it and become a better version of yourself. You get to understand your partner better.
Also, you will try even harder to keep them happy and make them stay with you forever as now you know how it feels to live a life without them. You’ll put your time and energy into making this relationship stronger because you only get to see the person’s value after you let them go.
Your relationship won’t grow stronger until and unless you both want it to. It requires consistent efforts from the two of you. Spending quality time together and communicating each other’s needs and problems will help build a connection after breaking up.
It will be useless to put your time and energy into reviving your relationship if the intent is not pure. If you wish to stay the same as you were before and treat your partner the same way, you should stay apart.