Fed up of continually trying to find that someone perfect for you but at the verge of giving in? Giving up on dating might seem like a logical step, but it is not suitable every time and for everyone.
There is no right time or age for giving up on dating. What matters is whether you are in a state to allow romantic liaisons in your life. Are you willing to go through heartbreaks again and again if they happen? Relationships can go either way. Do not date with the mindset of finding the ‘right one’.
Do your experiences allow you to take a risk? It is as simple as that and not at all a rocket science like people make it to be. Read the complete article and then decide what should be your next step! Rushing through is always dangerous.
When To Give Up On Dating Someone?
1. You Don’t Feel The Need
Just because your friends have had a string of relationships or go on dates with new people every week, it doesn’t mean your life is worthless if you do not find similar ‘success’ in your life. Yes, we as a society often equate having multiple relationships, and people to date as success.
Nothing can be farther away from the truth. Whether it is dating a particular person or dating in general, the worst you can do to yourself is to try it just for the sake of it under peer pressure.
2. It Feels Like A Burden
Dating and relationships or any activity should add value to your life. However, if instead of adding value it feels more like a burden where you are fed up with the same old process of finding someone, being with them, and parting ways ultimately, then maybe it is time to call it quits.
If something feels like a burden, there is no way you are going to get anything positive out of it.
3. There Are Trust Issues
If you are going out with a person and they break your trust, there is no reason to give that person a second chance, especially in the dating stage. Whether they have not shown up for a particular date due to no valid reason or lied to you about seeing other people, this behaviour will repeat itself.
Imagine this; they are already lying to you from early on. What makes you think this person will change completely when there is a lot more at stake later down the line.
4. Any Chemistry Is Absent
Those initial couple of dates didn’t go the way you wanted them to be and not feeling excited about the third one either? Well, maybe it is time to reflect. Months and years later, things are bound to get unexciting and monotonous between couples, and it is normal.
But if things feel boring right from day one, what do you think will happen when you reach a certain stage with this person? Just because you have finally landed a date, no reason to keep seeing them if there is a definite lack of spark.
5. You Are Not A Priority
So, you are just seeing this one person, but they are interested in seeing other people as well. Brownie points for them if they are honest about it, but it doesn’t mean this person deserves your time.
This person is the ONLY one you are seeing right now, whereas you are just another OPTION for them if others don’t make it. So, either you go out with someone who will be exclusively dating you only, or you start dating multiple people. Nothing wrong about it.
Benefits Of Giving Up On Dating
1. Plenty Of Time For Self-Reflection
When you finally decide to give up on dating for a definite or indefinite period, you have a lot of time on your plate, which helps you in making critical observations. You’d find that a lot of habits that you had developed during the dating or relationship phase were toxic to your growth.
Make it a habit of sitting quietly for 15 minutes every day for the next few weeks and analyzing how your relationship or dating habits were turning you into a person you didn’t want to be. You’d have amazing insights, and your life will become much better if you weed out the problematic behaviours.
2. Your Work & Life Will Be Your Priority
Believe it or not, dating and relationships take up a lot more time than you realize. And you’d agree with it, more than the time eating, the cons of the stress it brings along outweigh the pros. Now since you have a clear, stress-free mind and all that extra time, you can focus on your work and analyze where your career is heading.
And even if it is not something as revolutionary as more productivity at work, minor inclusions like starting a new hobby or doing something you’ve always wanted to do would give you a much more fulfilling feeling.
3. Focus On Friends & Family
If you are able to find a lot of extra time for work and your hobbies now, make sure a big chunk of it is reserved for your friends and family. While being focussed on dating new people or our current relationship, it is human to neglect the most important pillars of your life.
However, we are sure that now you are a tad bit wiser that when those near-perfect dates or that dreamy romantic relationship ceases to exist one day, you’d have nothing in hand except your support system in the form of friends and family. Make sure you invest quality time in something that important.
4. No Fights, No Crying
When you are not dating anyone, it is much less likely that you’ll constantly be bickering over trivial stuff. Further, there are extremely low chances of a conflict which become quite frequent otherwise.
Expectedly, when you aren’t emotionally hurt you won’t be crying as frequently, which further lessens the occasions that ruin your moods.
If single life has a certain amount of conflicts and disagreements and conflicts while at work or with family, then unsorted issues with the person you are dating only add to those conflicts.
5. Health Benefits You Didn’t Think Of
What do you expect when your head won’t be ready to burst due to stress and unfulfilled expectations from your date?
Of course, a healthy and peaceful mind. It is possible to have a person in your life and still have very low conflicts, but most people like you and I do find ourselves repeatedly in such situations when we are dating a person or in a relationship with them.
And lesser stress contributes to your overall health in a very positive way.
6. Becoming Comfortable With Being Single
The more you do not try to land a date actively, the more comfortable you’ll gradually become with the idea of being single.
Social media adds to a lot of negative thinking with picture-perfect photos and couple goals hashtags, but if you can break the rut and call out the farce, you’ll realize that life is not all about finding someone special. Shouldn’t your goal be being an exceptional person rather than finding one?
And surely an improved version of you is never going to happen if all you are worried about is how lonely, miserable and desperate you are just because you do not have anybody in your life.
Disadvantages Of Giving Up On Dating
1. No More Experiences
If at all you plan on entering a relationship with someone or getting married someday then giving up on dating altogether is a terrible idea.
Yes, there is indeed a lot of added stress as we have discussed above, but there is also the beautiful experience of being with a person and going through various situations with them. You get a very close first-hand experience of how your partner reacts.
Moreover, over the years, you do get the same experience with multiple people and how to handle little and big fights positively. It is a great resource to humble you down a bit and teaches you to act a bit more calmly. If you give up on dating, you are missing out on this golden opportunity.
2. The Dreaded Loneliness
This feeling of giving up on dating altogether and not needing a companion might be a temporary phase. Whether it lasts for just a short while or long enough, in the end, the pangs of loneliness might feel too deep.
Suddenly you’d be hit with the realization that you are totally on your own in this cruel world and maybe you cannot carry on with this facade of being strong. Yes, we do tend to think like that. However, if you work on being comfortable on your own and not needing someone else to define your happiness, then loneliness can be tackled.
However, if you are somewhere in your late twenties or early thirties, you’d feel a bit more lonely since most of your friends would now be married or contemplating it. Suddenly, they won’t be as freely available to hang out with you as before.
And when you see them living the ‘happy family life’, you might feel unfortunate.
3. Nobody To Share Your Feelings
True that most of us have a family and friend with whom we can share the exciting thing that happened today or how sad your life feels in general. But don’t we sometimes long for that special person with whom we can share our thoughts while huddled together in a comforting hug on a cozy couch?
If you plan on giving up on dating altogether, you are making sure that the next time you come home after achieving something big, there might not be a person to share your happiness with in a romantic way. And your sorrows too will be your own without a caring shoulder or lap to keep your head on.
Friends and family are always there, but they can never fill the romantic void. And if by any chance you live alone, it will be just you and empty walls staring back every day.
4. No Feeling Of Companionship
When you reach a certain age and develop health issues, it becomes challenging to manage the day to day tasks all by yourselves. It is perhaps the biggest reason why a lot of older adults suggest the young and free ones get married and settle down.
For those of you who have lived alone at any point in your life, you know how difficult it was to manage when you felt sick. If you give up on dating, your chances of ever having a special someone by your side through your thick and thin are reduced to zero.
There is a sense of comfort in a companion and before closing your doors for someone you need to think it through and be level headed. And if you do decide against it, be ready to manage everything on your own whatever may come.
What Age To Give Up On Dating?
There is no age to give up on dating unless you have become overly pessimistic about life. Some get married to their teenage love and grow old together. Others aren’t able to find anyone compatible, even in their 60s. Take a break from dating to clear your head rather than giving up.
There aren’t many who have the patience or the energy to go through bad dates or relationships one after the other and still stay hopeful of finding someone decent enough along the line. They find it much easier to stay away for a long time.
At the same time, many actively chase a relationship and are hoping to find that perfect someone wherever they go. In both these cases, age is an entirely independent variable. Thus your decision to give up on dating or not should be more according to your state of mind rather than your age.
Are You Asking The Right Questions?
Dating and relationships are purely a game of probabilities where the odds are stacked heavily against you. You might not be able to find that perfect someone even if they are right next to you. Why? Because it is human nature to find some flaw even in the most beautiful thing.
We keep feeling that something is missing or this person could improve in this particular way. Moreover, the other person would come with their set of flaws too. So, both at their extremes, i.e., giving up too early or always being hopeful of finding your perfect soulmate is an unhealthy way to approach things.
Ask yourself the right questions. Are you giving up on dating because you cannot take it anymore due to your bad experiences, or are you fed up of waiting for that perfect someone? That might help you in deciding whether this is the right age for you to give up on dating for a short while or forever.
Because if the latter is your reason, i.e., waiting for someone perfect, trust us that you will keep on waiting. This in no way means that you should accept whatever comes your way and entertain toxic people.
It merely means that you might lose a great person just because you were greedy to find someone better.
Giving Up Dating For A Year
Give up on dating for a year if quitting altogether sounds extreme and scary. Taking a break gives you some time to spend with yourself and declutter your thoughts. Step out in the field again only when you aren’t negative about dating. A negative mindset only attracts more negative results.
However, here are five significant changes you need to make the most of this time and set yourself up for better results whenever you resume dating.
1. Get In Shape
Hit the gym hard or start exercising and watch what you eat, when you eat and how much you eat. Being in great shape will not only instil a lot of confidence in you but also broaden your horizons of attracting potential mates. Be the one whom people turn around to have a second look at.
An attractive physique attracts people like a magnet, and since dating is a numbers game, the more options you have at hand, the better it is. Be in a position to choose the best person among the people willing to go out with you. After all, you do deserve the best.
And even if you never go on a date again, all this extra confidence and the added health benefits of staying fit are not hurting you right?
2. Read A Lot
Life is much more than aimlessly scrolling through social media and taking selfies with filters. And if somehow you are ‘popular’ on social media then due to your fan following you might feel like you own the world. Trust us that this is just a bubble which will burst sooner or later.
It is better to be a person with whom one can hold a decent conversation. Fiction, non-fiction, literature, news, politics, etc. whatever titillates you, just develop the habit of reading. It is a proven fact that reading makes us use parts of our brain connected to creative and logical thinking.
Also, you’d be better equipped to resolve day to day problems of life as in our life span, we can only have a limited number of experiences. Reading the experiences of others and learning from it is a great way to prepare yourself for the unknown. Reading will get you thinking.
3. Work On Your Communication Skills
No, by communication skills we do not mean rehearsing canned pickup lines or how to shut down those whom you don’t like. We also do not mean to imply that you should be practicing how to become the star speaker at any party and speak confidently.
That sort of advice is more appropriate on a job website. Instead, we mean to tell you that many people live just for themselves and treat people around them like trash. Learn how to talk nicely and politely to people around you and then practice the same with people who somehow irk you.
Believe it or not but being nice is something that is becoming rarer. You don’t even know how many unnecessary conflicts you can avoid by just being calm and polite. This will surely help you in your relationships down the line.
4. Learn Something New
Just like a breakup leaves us with a lot of time, deciding to take a break from dating also leaves you with the golden resource of all the extra hours. Use them wisely and do something that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time somehow.
Who knows how this additional skill might help you in your life somewhere. Yeah, binge-watching movies and different series sounds like a cool idea but doesn’t leave you with anything fruitful. If it leaves you with something, it is the guilt about the wasted time.
Starting your own business is also a great way to utilize this time as it will give you an immense sense of achievement if you become successful. And even if you fail, you still learnt something new that most people never would. Still better than laying in your couch all day.
5. Get Your Finances Under Control
For those of you who have been spending lavishly in their relationships or on dates, it is time to assess where you have spent all that money. You’d be surprised to see how much you’ve wasted and how a lot of that money could have either been saved or spent more wisely.
If you lose your job someday with no money coming in from anywhere or are hit by a major health crisis, you’d not want to be a burden and liability on others.
The money you’ll have will help you go through a thick time without borrowing money from friends every now and then, begging on the streets or living your life at the mercy of others. Prepare for the worst and invest your time in some financial education.
If your relationships fail or nobody is willing to date you, it is much better to cry in the comfort of your own home rather than on the street as a homeless person.
Giving up on dating is a big decision even if it only takes a few seconds to say “I am not going to date anyone from now on.” Just do not do it because one of your friends has done the same and is doing great without any problems.
First of all, you are a different person, and secondly, you can never be a hundred per cent sure whether they are actually doing great or not. And if you do decide that you want to go down that route, make sure you stick to your decision and focus on other areas of life like your career.
The worst situation you can be in is having doubts as to whether or not you are doing the right thing? Even if you are, constantly second-guessing your decisions will eat away your peace.