Many myths float around about dating a doctor, and people presume that only doctors are better off dating doctors. No! All you need is a little knowledge about what you’re getting and what to expect.
Dating a doctor is incredibly hard for a non-medical person, but intelligent thinking and slight adjustments can make it a cakewalk. A doctor’s day involves a lot of mental and physical stress compared to an average person with a 9-5 desk job.
These tips will help you prepare for the wondrous experience of being with a doctor.
Is It Good To Date A Doctor? – The Pros
1. Increased Grossness Endurance
While even a single drop of blood can freak some people out, it is never the case with doctors. They have seen a wide range of grotesque stuff. This can come in handy when you are in trouble or too helpless to do things on your own.
They’ll act quickly. Even if someone else on the road needs help in an emergency, doctors act swiftly without freaking out, and can be the difference between life and death.
2. Lessons In Selflessness
Dating a doctor would be your private lessons in empathy and understanding the suffering of a fellow human. Not only will you learn to look beyond yourself, but you’ll also start gauging people and situations differently.
It will encourage you to go out of your way to help others. Society needs good people!
3. Free Lessons On Medicine & Biology
Even if you are not going to get a degree in medicine, dating a doctor would leave you with deep knowledge about the medical field. If nothing, you’ll at least be more informed about the area of specialization of the doctor you date.
These free lessons often come in handy, and you could be helpful to people around you in an emergency.
4. You Have A Doctor At Home
You have 24×7 medical help available right next to you. Think about all the money saved on the visits to the clinic and prescriptions. For a wide range of small stuff, you wouldn’t even need to go anywhere. Wherever your date is, you can get help right there.
And in case things go haywire, then too, your date can do a pretty good job of bringing the situation under control and save you from grave danger. They give their best to save others. What wouldn’t they do to save you?
5. Well Defined Priority
Very few people are passionate about what they do. Many go with whatever life throws at them. Doctors have a well-defined priority, i.e., their work. They could have been anything, but they chose one of the most challenging professions in the world.
Doctors know where they are, how to move forward, and what to do. Talk about clarity in life!
6. Great Listeners
Doctors are trained to listen to the woes of their patients with great patience. They meet tons of people every day, give each one some one-on-one time, and make their patients feel special and heard. It is their job!
It is improbable that you’ll ever complain about not being listened to or feel neglected by a doctor.
7. Low Risk Of Financial Problems
Being in one of the most respected professions in the world comes with its own perks. And one of those perks is rarely being unemployed, i.e., high job security. There are always going to be more patients than the available doctors.
Further, doctors tend to earn more than most people. The stability of finances means fewer worries and great peace of mind if you end up in a long-term relationship with them.
8. Interesting Stories To Tell
Along with professional experience, a doctor also gathers exciting stories. Whether they are about the advancements in medical science, new illnesses, cures, or outright miracles, a conversation with them will not be boring.
They can keep your whole family entertained at a get-together. No wonder your family will love them.
9. They Are Not Commitment Phobic
Years of consistent hustle is required to become a doctor. Such struggle can break a person from within, but a doctor endures it all and comes out shining. Even then, life does not get easier, and they always give their 100%.
Thus, a doctor knows the value of not wavering from goals and not giving up on something. Commitment is rarely going to be an issue when you date a doctor.
10. Don’t Give Up & Solve Problems
As said above, giving up does not exist in the dictionary of a doctor. They are hell-bent on resolving a problem whenever one surfaces up. Imagine a doctor giving up on their patient. Unheard of, right? Even if the chances of something happening are zero percent, a doctor keeps trying.
Thus, whenever you or your relationship are in trouble, a doctor won’t give up. They’ll do everything in their capacity and make things work.
11. A Well Respected Person
Saving lives and helping people in need is one of the noblest deeds in the world. Why wouldn’t it command respect all around the globe? Doctors enjoy a lot of respect and love not only from their patients but other people too.
It requires brains, sincere efforts to study hard and become a doctor. The years of academic hustle is grueling, and it takes a person of strong character to become a doctor. Scientific in their ways, the doctors are genuinely an intellectual class.
12. Patient & Understanding
Surely we all know how couples can be at each other’s throats when they get cranky. However, a doctor is much less likely to get irritated. Why? Because years of training and experience conditions them into beings of patience.
Yes, they have to deal with many difficult patients, but are they allowed to get cranky or lose their temper? No way! Thus, even if you lose it a bit, the doctor in front of you will handle the situation much more calmly and not get irritated.
13. Can Work From Anywhere In The World
A doctor can be anywhere, and still, a hospital or a clinic would be more than happy to hire them. They could even have their own practice going on. Thus, if you want to move to a particular part of the world, your partner being unemployed will be the least of your concerns.
What about your job? That you should really think about unless you are in a profession where you too will easily find one.
14. No Bickering & Constant Nagging
Since doctors are the cool-tempered lot, it will take a lot before they lose it. This also translates to the fact that they don’t make a lot of fuss about tiny things and are pretty adjusting and considerate.
Things like the toilet seat left up or down or you hogging the T.V. remote all the time is much less likely to affect them. They have a lot going on in their professional life and are often thinking about how to cure a patient rather than the dinner being too salty tonight.
15. Know The Importance Of Good Health
On the subject of salt, there cannot be too much of it every day. They will speak against it. The same goes for fats, sugars, and carbs. Seeing sick people every day makes them realize the value of healthy living, and they surely pass it on very strictly.
That includes regular exercise, a balanced diet, and lots of water. A healthier you would be a happier you, and the doctor understands that.
Why Is Dating A Doctor Bad? – The Cons
1. Not A 9-5 Job
Working as a doctor is not like your traditional 9-5 jobs with a four to five day workweek. Usually, a doctor will spend around 12 hours in the hospital on any given day. Sudden changes in the schedule and emergencies can require a doctor to stay till late at the hospital.
Or they might have to answer the call of duty in the wee hours of the morning while sleeping next to you. This can gravely affect your personal life too, as you will often find yourself alone, not well-rested, and will have no idea when your partner will return.
2. Extremely Busy Lives
Doctors have hectic schedules, and thus you’ll have limited time to spend as a couple. Get ready to sacrifice a lot of dinners and plans so that your partner can do the rightful thing, i.e., be present when and where they are needed.
If you are someone who does not like the idea of spending time away from your partner right from the beginning, refrain from dating a doctor. You need to be very understanding, and they might not be able to explain their absence every time.
Moreover, you might feel insecure about the fact that they always have busy and productive days. Don’t feel bad. It’s just that their work doesn’t allow them to slack off.
3. Lots Of Job Stress
The medical profession is one of the few fields that brings with it an insane amount of stress. Often you’ll find your partner drained, not just physically but emotionally too. Maybe it is a patient they cannot save or a disease in front of which they feel helpless.
Add to that the odd timings of the job and the exhausting nature of the work. The job of a doctor is nothing less than a roller coaster. Their stress will affect you, both directly and indirectly.
4. You’ll Be The Planning Partner
A doctor would seldom make plans first. But they do gladly follow along…….if they can. Why don’t they initiate? Because they have no idea what their schedule will look like on a particular day.
This is different from a proper leave in case of which they’ll try and make up for all the time lost and smother you with a lot of love and attention. You will feel pampered.
But for most days, a typical scenario would be you making all the plans for the dates, birthdays, anniversaries and doing something entirely different at the last moment.
5. Too Tired Most Of The Time
Doctors might look active in the hospital or in clinics while dealing with us, but they are a different breed at home. Yes, coming back to our point about emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion, you might find them looking for the easy way out in almost everything when at home.
Be prepared for ordering at home over going out for dinner and hearing snoring sounds shortly the moment you take your eyes off them while talking at night.
6. You’ll Not Be A Priority
Because it will always be their work, and it is better that way. If we are allowed to be highly optimistic, you aren’t running away anywhere. However, time is running, to the extent of becoming a critical deciding factor between moments of life and death.
When they’ll have to choose between your happiness and their better half i.e., their work, be prepared for disappointment….always. But after that short-lived moment of sorrow will be eternal pride that you are with such a fantastic and responsible person.
7. Their Area Of Specialization Can Bother You
As long as your partner is a general physician, this might not seem much of an issue. But what about a male gynecologist or a female proctologist? What about an obstetrician? Or a veterinarian if you are not an animal lover?
Moreover, there are high chances of interaction with the opposite sex if their specialization compels them to do so. Though doctors refrain from doing it due to professional ethics and legal reasons, there are chances they might develop a little crush on one of their patients and start dating them.
Clashes are bound to happen down the road, and thus it is important to understand the limits of what’s acceptable to you.
8. Can Be Hard To Arouse
Most doctors have studied a lot about human anatomy, and thus there is not much excitement left about seeing just another naked body. Being lazy or conventional won’t work in your favor when it comes to intimacy.
You’ll need to put in some research and have special tricks up your sleeve to arouse your partner and satisfy them. Yeah, doctors are different in this area too.
How To Win A Doctor’s Heart?
1. Flexibility Is The Key
Do not be a rigid and stubborn person if you ever plan on dating a doctor. There will be many last-minute changes in plans, less time for you to hang out than other couples, and no definite idea when the next date might be.
If uncertainty irritates you and you like things planned down to every minute, dating a doctor can be pretty harsh on you.
2. Do Not Bombard Them With Calls & Texts
While this is more of a general rule applicable while dating anybody, it becomes even more profound if you are dating a doctor. Drop a text if they don’t pick up your call, and don’t expect them to chat you up over texts.
You never know in what situation your partner is at the hospital or their clinic. Give them the required space and time to concentrate on their work.You don’t want them to dislike you because of your continuous calls and texts while they were attending to patients or planning an important surgery.
3. Avoid Showing Unannounced At The Hospital
This is in continuation of the above point. If constant calling and texting is forbidden, do not even think about showing up without notice at their workplace. We understand that you’d love to give them a surprise, and it is okay if done once in a blue moon.
However, don’t make it a regular habit. You’d not only be an annoying disturbance in an important place but also become the reason behind stalled work. And if your partner isn’t able to give you time, they’ll also feel bad about it.
4. Celebrate The Few Hours You Have With Them
You already have very little time on your plate as a couple. Now you can either crib about it or make the most of it. Guess what a doctor will like? If you always have a positive and upbeat attitude where you try to make up for the lost time, a doctor will appreciate it.
They certainly don’t want a nagging partner when they come back home all exhausted.
5. Keep Healthy Snacks Ready
When you are in a profession that hardly gives you time for anything else, self-care might take a backseat. When it comes to food, it is easier to pick up junk than to put in the effort to prepare something. The result? Declining health.
Make sure to always keep healthy snacks ready for your partner so that they can have it on the go. Taking care of their diet is akin to taking care of your relationship with a doctor. The world always needs doctors to be up and running, and they cannot afford to suffer from malnutrition and fall sick.
6. Show Gratitude
A doctor is a doctor at the end of the day and not a magician or god. They have their limitations. Patients and their families often forget this, and there are plenty of incidents of misbehaviors with doctors. True, that not all doctors are saints, but most of them are honest, hard-working people.
Comparing the kind of work they do and how often they are taken for granted, your partner would feel better if someone told them regularly what an awesome job they are doing by taking away people’s miseries.
7. A Meal When They Come Home
If a healthy snack for the day is of great help, one-up it by making sure they have a tasty, home-cooked meal when they are back home. Doctors often do not get time to even have that snack you pack for them. Surely, you wouldn’t want them going to bed on an empty stomach.
8. Put Yourself In Their Shoes
There are indeed responsibilities that should be divided equally among partners but do give it a thought that your partner’s day is more tiring than a normal 9-5 desk job.
Thus, expecting them to be equally active for chores (if you have moved in with them) or talking to you for long hours on the phone can be a bit harsh. You’d have to be a little more adjusting to date a doctor successfully.
9. A Relaxing Massage
Most of their day is spent checking up on patients, walking around the hospital, or standing for surgery when there is one. All these can take a toll on their body with time and tire them out more than the average person.
Give them a relaxing foot and body massage whenever you can, even if it is for only 15 minutes. They wouldn’t stop talking about how refreshed they feel.
10. A Coffee Before Their Shift
Sleep is often compromised when you are working as a doctor or nurse. And you do not want them to be drowsy at work. Not only this puts them but also a patient’s health at risk. Give their day a kickstart with some strong coffee that recharges their battery and fuels them with enough energy.
Their shift can be during odd hours, and you will have to get up at odd times to give them that coffee.
Are Doctors Romantic?
Being romantic or not has nothing to do with being a doctor. Some doctors are romantic, while others aren’t. The romantic ones do have intelligent and unique ideas to express their love. The non-romantic ones are always too tired to put in the effort.
This stands as true for any other person as much as it does for a doctor. However, couples in which one or both the partners are from the medical field try to make up for the lost time and shower lots of love on the other person whenever they can.
It is quite frequent initially, but as with any relationship, the efforts might dwindle with time. If you end up dating a non-romantic doctor, nagging and complaining won’t help. Lead by example and show them what romance should look like.
Who Do Doctors Usually Marry?
Bloomberg studied who marries whom, and found that doctors are more likely to marry elementary, middle school teachers and post-secondary teachers. And if they do marry someone from the medical field, it is usually a registered nurse.
It is a misconception that doctors usually marry doctors because they understand each other’s profession better and can complement each other’s specialty, work together and make more money. Rather, marrying a non-medical person gives their life a fresh perspective.
If you are not a doctor, fret not. You have an advantage over other doctors. Marrying a person outside the medical field gives them the following advantages:
1. Life Doesn’t Get Boring
They see patients all day and rarely talk about anything else other than their work. Having more medical discussions over dinner would make life monotonous with nothing new happening. A person from a non-medical field gives them a whole new array of topics to talk about.
2. Initial Financial Stability
Before a person works as a junior doctor and can earn decent wages, several years of study and hustle are involved. Things do not look financially promising for medical aspirants, and even the stipends are insufficient.
Marrying a financially stable person gives them one less thing to worry about. But this doesn’t mean that they will marry you for your money. It’s just that having two people in a marriage where none earns well enough is suicidal. Bills paid on time do feel good!
3. Expands The Friend Circle
People often meet the friends of their spouse. Doctors hang around doctors all day, and it can get pretty boring to have more doctors at an informal party if your spouse is also a doctor. They’ll have doctor friends too, right?
Marrying someone who is not a doctor brings people from different professions to their life and feels like a breath of fresh air.
4. Balance In Life
Having someone with fixed working hours and who can handle the house duties while you are answering a medical emergency can be a boon. It takes a load of worries off their head as they can rely on you if something bad happens when they aren’t around.
However, this would mean a lot of responsibilities that you might have to struggle with on your own.
5. No Career Conflicts
Professional jealousies can go to a whole new level if two people from the same field are at different levels regarding professional success and earnings. While this can be true for people from different professions, the usual norm is people supporting each other and not feeling jealous.
Imagine a household where one doctor is being invited to speak at seminars, writing research papers, earning loads of money while the other one is struggling even to set up a clinic.
You are with a person from a noble profession doing a great deal of good for the world. Find reasons to make things work rather than quitting at the first hurdle. Only date a doctor if you are willing to make a lot of sacrifices.
However, the pros outweigh the cons at the end and it is worth dating a doctor if and whenever you can.